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How to get into a mans emotions

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Was there some pathology, or should we just put the differences down to male-female tendencies? Yet we observed that the issue should be dealt with, given the male-female suicide ratio in Australia, the U. We concluded that therapy might be able to help, and that is where we go with this article: to a discussion of just how we as mental health professionals might be able to help men deal with an outdated but strongly held socialisation pattern which has impacted their emotional expression, and through that, their capacity for growth, satisfying friendships, and intimate relationships. We tackle the question in two parts. Then we suggest therapies which might be able to assist.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 12 Ways How To Attract A Man Emotionally And Make Him Feel Emotionally Attached To You

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 3 Emotions That Will Make a Man Feel Crazy About You & How to Use it to Make Him Chase

7 Men Reveal How They Knew They Felt An Emotional Connection With Someone

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Your email address is safe. If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times. Women everywhere seem to say the same thing about their male partners and it goes like this: 'He just shuts off to emotion! He never tells me how he is feeling! So when Rosemary, a client of mine, started telling me about the difficulties she was having with her partner, I listened sympathetically and let her pour out her frustration without telling her that I had heard it all before.

And when she finally came to a stop, I began to explain why so many men are uncomfortable exploring their feelings and why this is a good thing! Male friends have told me they hate it when a woman asks them during a quiet moment: 'What are you thinking?

If a man is quiet, a women may assume his silence indicates that he is upset. Men, on the other hand, stop communicating when they have a problem to solve. Understanding better how your partner processes emotions can clear up misunderstandings and bring greater tolerance into your relationship.

The fact is that men and women are different in more than just the obvious physical ways. This all reminds me of the old song: 'Why can't a woman be more like a man?

And a prime difference is that men have to protect themselves from emotional arousal for the sake of their health. The s therapeutic ideal was about 'getting in touch with your feelings. Women used to be dismissively known as the 'weaker sex' - but in some ways men are actually more vulnerable.

Women not only live longer but at every stage of life the male is more likely to die than the female. Even in infancy, premature boys are more likely to die than premature girls. Rosemary was surprised and relieved to learn that there are sound reasons why her male partner may 'button up'. Firstly, men's brains are wired for action during high emotion, whereas women's brains are wired for talking things over.

If a man instinctively knows his anger is likely to lead to action and possibly regrettable violence he may try to stop it going that far by putting a lid it on it.

Or 'clamming up' as his partner may describe it. Secondly, from an evolutionary perspective men would have had to shut off their emotions while out hunting, so over time it has become natural for them to do so. But there is a third and even better reason why men typically may shut themselves off more from emotional arousal.

In an emotionally-arousing situation, a man's first instinct is to leave and calm down. This is partly due to how emotions affect men. They are a cue to physical action - the consequences of which could be terrible. If a man stays put and becomes very emotional, his blood pressure skyrockets and he is at risk of having a heart attack.

It also takes much longer for a man's blood pressure and immune system to return to normal after high emotion than it does for a woman. Therefore a man will instinctively try without even knowing that this is what he is doing to protect himself and escape the situation. Women need to be more tuned into their emotions than men because they are, more often, the ones who rear children of course, this is a generalisation and there are always exceptions.

One research study showed that young boys were much quicker to try to switch off a recording of a baby crying than young girls were. The researchers at first reasoned that this was because of male insensitivity. But it turned out that the boys had much higher levels of stress hormone in their bloodstreams than the girls did on hearing the emotionally arousing trigger. Men are actually more sensitive to emotion and so more likely to avoid it.

This gender difference persists through life and old men are much more likely to die soon after the loss of a partner than an elderly wife when she loses her husband. The best way to relate to one another is for men to appreciate that a woman needs to off load sometimes and for a woman to know that a man may prefer to talk about practicalities rather than how he is feeling.

So a man, when he realises that his partner is upset or worried about something, can ask her if she would like to talk about it. But then he needs to resist the temptation to offer advice or tell her what to do! Just listen and affirm her feelings. Conversely, a woman who notices something is up can think twice before asking that frightening question - 'How do you feel? A good alternative might perhaps be to say 'It might be a good idea if we do such-and-such about that - This makes it action orientated and therefore less threatening to her male partner.

Remember strong emotion physically harms a man and is a cue to action rather than discussion. As you can imagine, Rosemary felt much happier when she had grasped all this. She suggested that this difference accounts for why far more women than men seek therapy - because they are more comfortable discussing their emotions.

Knowledge is power and Rosemary is now confident that her relationship can survive. Click here to get my free bite-sized relationship tips sent straight to your email inbox that you can use right away to feet better.

Mark Tyrrell is a therapist, trainer and author and is the co-founder of Hypnosis Downloads, the web's busiest hypnosis site where you can get a cutting-edge hypnosis session for almost any situation. You can train with Mark Tyrrell from anywhere in the world, on our distance learning therapy courses , in topics such as Learn hypnosis online , Lift depression fast and the Fast Phobia Cure. Back to Relationships and Communication Skills Articles.

Mark Tyrrell Creative Director. Read our privacy policy. Follow Uncommon Knowledge Facebook Twitter. Men, women and emotions - or why he never tells you how he's feeling! Free Articles. Self Help. I think I had her full attention. Going quiet - emotional upset versus problem solving Male friends have told me they hate it when a woman asks them during a quiet moment: 'What are you thinking?

Emotional arousal is bad for male health This all reminds me of the old song: 'Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men act, women talk Firstly, men's brains are wired for action during high emotion, whereas women's brains are wired for talking things over. I'm out of here! Let's have some understanding The best way to relate to one another is for men to appreciate that a woman needs to off load sometimes and for a woman to know that a man may prefer to talk about practicalities rather than how he is feeling.

Rosemary's relief As you can imagine, Rosemary felt much happier when she had grasped all this. Do you think you're driving your partner away but can't seem to stop?

Men and Emotions: From Repression to Expression

One way to have a strong relationship with your partner is to build a deep emotional connection with them. Unlike things like physical attraction which you can't really control, dating and relationship coach, and host of the podcast "The Man Whisperer" , Laurel House, tells Bustle, having an emotional connection with someone is a choice. And across the board, what causes someone to open their heart up to the possibility of love can be different. For some people it may be the emotional support that a partner gives them, and for others it may be the feeling of connectedness they get, especially from feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable.

Create a deep, emotional bond with him and keep him from wandering. Many women worry about having to compete with the younger women that their men meet every day.

Some emotions are positive. Think of happiness, joy, interest, curiosity, excitement, gratitude, love, and contentment. These positive emotions feel good. That's especially true when we feel a negative emotion too often, too strongly, or we dwell on it too long.

Why Men Need to Show Emotion

Emotional intelligence EQ is the secret of lasting intimate relationships, largely because it makes us extremely aware of the changes—large and small—that are constantly occurring in ourselves and others. We have the potential to attain the kind of love we all dream of—deep intimacy, mutual kindness, real commitment, soulful caring—simply because of empathy, our innate ability to share emotional experience. We have the potential to attain the kind of love we all dream of —deep intimacy and mutual kindness, real committed, soulful caring—simply because of empathy and our innate ability to share emotional experience. But to achieve those relationship goals, we need all the skills of a high EQ:. In fact, for many people, falling in love serves as motivation for reeducating the heart. When you ride out your fear of change, you discover that different does not necessarily mean worse. Things often come out better than ever on the far side of change. Relationships are organisms themselves, and by nature must change. Your ability to embrace change pays off in courage and optimism. Ask yourself, does your lover need something new from you?

Men and emotions

With a sigh of relief, you pull into your driveway at the end of another hour day. You're ready to unwind. Already, your blood pressure is falling. But inside your house, your personal life is waiting. When you walk through that door, you may be thinking in terms of haven and escape.

According to the survey of 1, people by Elite Singles, 95 per cent of women say they prefer a man who is open about his emotions, while 97 per cent say they find that men crying is considered either strong, natural or healthy.

Women all over continually complain about how men do not show their emotions; however, when they finally do -- these women are in for a rude awakening. A man's emotions are often times confusing and sometimes contradictory. People have the preconceived notion that men simply do not have feelings. This is far from the case.

How To Connect With A Man On An Emotional Level

Being a male in a female-dominated field such as social work has its pros and cons, but in my opinion, the pros drastically outweigh the cons. It was easy for me to choose such a demanding profession, but the lack of males in the social work program in college was truly shocking. I assumed, just like many other fields, that there would be some sort of balance between males and females. I think the answer is simple.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Get A Man To Communicate His Feelings

Emotional intelligence means the capacity to reflect on and understand your emotional life. Thankfully, we can all improve our emotional intelligence with a little learning and some practice. As a result, we tend to miss some fairly obvious causes of our distress. For example, I often hear clients recounting an upsetting argument they had with their spouse in bed. Consider what would happen if, the next time your low-fuel light went off and made you feel uncomfortable, you stuck a piece of tape over it?

Cry like a man: How women really want their men to show emotion

Last semester, a student in the masculinity course I teach showed a video clip she had found online of a toddler getting what appeared to be his first vaccinations. High five, high five! The home video was right on point, illustrating the takeaway for the course: how boys are taught, sometimes with the best of intentions, to mutate their emotional suffering into anger. More immediately, it captured, in profound concision, the earliest stirrings of a male identity at war with itself. This is no small thing. Yet when they are immunized against this deeper emotional honesty, the results have far-reaching, often devastating consequences. Despite the emergence of the metrosexual and an increase in stay-at-home dads, tough-guy stereotypes die hard. As men continue to fall behind women in college, while outpacing them four to one in the suicide rate, some colleges are waking up to the fact that men may need to be taught to think beyond their own stereotypes.

Men have feelings, most of the time. Many guys describe how they stumble to explain their emotions. How to get a handle on our emotional experience?

Emotions act as a guide to our needs, wants and desires. Many guys describe how they stumble to explain their emotions. Some of their awkwardness is about language.

4 Brilliantly Subtle Ways To Bring Him Emotionally Closer To You

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Our emotional state often dictates how we behave, with men and women handling emotions in quite different ways. When upset, women are more likely to express their feelings directly and to seek the support of friends and family, whereas men might hide their emotions or withdraw. Men often feel that they need to be self-reliant and provide for their loved ones, so it is not appropriate to express their emotions. This behaviour can be reinforced in the stereotype of the heroic male, so often represented in popular culture.

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Comments: 2
  1. Jur

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  2. Vidal

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